Monday 7 April 2014

Refining the narrative

Now I have selected my storyboard I need to refine the narrative. As I said earlier I feel the spoken is more powerful than the written word so I need to ensure when I'm writing my story it needs to be powerful and emotive.

Original Narrative:



Now I look at the narrative written its not very powerful compared to my previous experiment. Therefore I have decided to scrap it to try and write a narrative which conveys more emotion and is slightly more simplistic. I also feel it would be better if the bullying started at a young age as I found the childlike drawings on my previous experiment convey a young age which I feel to be more emotional. So below is my new idea. I have based it on my research in my where to go next? post which explores a few different accounts of people who have been bullied. I have combined these stories with my own experiences to develop a new narrative.
Outline of new narrative:



New written narrative:
It's my first day at school. I'm kinda scared, I didn't think it would be so big! Oh well, I've got my best friend from primary school with me.

It's kinda difficult settling in here. Everyone isn't as nice as I hoped. They all look at me funny as if I'm a wierdo.

My best friend from primary school stopped talking to me. She hangs around with these other girls, they all seem so popular and perfect.

I'm really struggling to find friends now, I feel so lonely all the time, I'm scared I'll never fit in.

My old best friend starting calling me ugly. Her new friends joined in. They all called me fat and ugly and stupid.

I ran to the toilets and cried. I locked myself in there for hours. I was too scared to come out. I felt so alone.

In my ICT lesson my teacher showed us the 'report abuse' button. They said it was anonymous. I wonder if I should do it, it might make the girls stop.

A teacher asked me to go to the head of year. They said I was bullying some other girls and that I had to stop. They accused me of bullying my old best friend. It wasn't fair, they were bullying me.

When I went home I had messages on Facebook. It said I was an idiot and that if I told anyone what they were doing that they'd hurt me.

I'm too scared to go to school now, I'm worried they'll hurt me. I stuck my fingers down my throat and threw up before school so I didn't have to go.

When I eventually went back to school some older girls came over to me. They said I need to stop bullying others. They grabbed my hair and pulled my head back and forth until I cried. I ran back to class to try and escape them.

They won't stop. They won't stop. I can't do it anymore. I'm too scared. I'm too lonely. I can't take it anymore. I have to end this once and for all.

New Storyboard



Working on the narrative a little bit more

I moved house today. Dad got a new job. I have to start at my new school on Monday. I'm slightly worried. Hope everybody is nice.

It's kinda difficult settling in here. The school is so big. Everyone isn't as nice as I hoped. They all look at me funny as if I'm a wierdo.

These girls all seem to hang around together. They look so pretty and perfect. I wish they would let me hang around with them.

I'm really struggling to find friends now, I feel so lonely all the time, I'm scared I'll never fit in.

These girls started calling me names. They called me ugly, stupid and fat.

I ran to the toilets and cried. I locked myself in there for hours. I was too scared to come out. I felt so alone.

In my ICT lesson my teacher showed us the 'report abuse' button. They said it was anonymous. I wonder if I should do it, it might make the girls stop.

When I went home I had messages on Facebook. It said I was an idiot. It said if I told anyone they were bullying me they would hurt me.

I'm too scared to go to school now, I'm worried they'll hurt me. I stuck my fingers down my throat and threw up before school so I didn't have to go.

When I eventually went back to school the girls found me. They grabbed my hair and pulled my head back and forth until I cried. I ran to the toilets again to try and escape them.

They won't stop. They won't stop. I can't do it anymore. I'm too scared. I'm too lonely. I can't take it anymore. I have to end this once and for all.

Slightly new storyboard



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